Dealing with the world

Years months days
mean nothing to us gays
as long as you are young
or if you are well hung
attention you will get
this I will bet

I have seen the light..... let me explain

In the pub tonight after rehearsel some people started talking about lj and its use. I didn't really joined in, but it did leave me thinking about stuff. And here comes in my first sentence. What I have finally realized is; I hardly use lj and if I do 9 out of 10 times it is about something negative. I don't want that anymore. I am done with the negativeness and not just in writing on lj. I am done with it on all levels. Sure I will have some negative thoughts now and again, but those I can avoid from know on I will.

Therefor I have made a decission. I am stopping using lj. This is my very last entry. So good bye and so long to you all, I'll see you in the real world

Niek

Hi All

This is Niek from New York.
Toda6y is my last day here. It's now 9:45 and I'll be flying at 18:15 so I still have some time to spare.
New York is really great, cold as it may be. I had a very good time here, and strangely felt right at home in this enormous city. Eventhough I had a hard time understanding what people were saying, because fdor some strange reason they tend to talk really soft. I bought everything I wanted to buy and then some, so I can safely say the trip was a succes. And now I'll be leaving again seeing as how my time is almost up. I'll be seeing you in a few days I think.

This was Niek Groenewold reporting live from Chelsea international hostel, New York. Back to you Franck

This title might seem a bit of a contradiction but wait and let me explain and it will make perfect sense.
I came home pretty late this evening. It was around 2ish I think and I went straight to bed since I was tired and had a bit to much to drink. I fell a sleep straight away as my head hit the pillow. For those of you that know, I am pleased (me being sarcastic here) the dreams are back. For those of you that don't know. A few weeks ago I started dreaming about me and blowing up things. First it was just the UT later it became the UT with people in it. Then for a week or so the dreams stopped, but now they are back. Only this time I blew up the entire planet. Well not exactly, let me explain. In my dream for some reason I am in the possession of a nuke. Not just any nuke no, a nuke with a heat shield (don't ask me why or how but it does). Of course I decide to use it. So where would I fire such a weapon you might ask. Well Yellowstone park of course. Why you might ask. Because, for those of you that don't and those that do know, Yellow stone park in reality is a very big volcano. Oh did I mention that the nuke I posses doesn't go off on impact, but at a certain depth? Cool isn't it? So I fire of my nuke (oh how I love to call it that) and sure enough it goes into Yellowstone park flies right down the center of it, drills down (I too don't quite understand how) to a certain depth and explodes. Of course this sets of a chain reaction in the volcano, which, of course how very obviously, comes to an eruption not seen in human history, whipping out most of the population of america and canada and darkening the earth for centuries to come. People that didn't die during the initial eruption face death by starvation and such. Oh by the way, minor detail, I die as well......
And Now I am awake again, Yes the dream lasted a whopping 45 minutes, and now I can't seem to go back to sleep. My mind is filled with all these tiny little worries I have about all sorts of things. About me moving in a few weeks, about the play, about studying english, about my hair.......everything.
So you see dreaming and insomnia really do go together although in a somewhat strange way

Hi all, and welcome back to another exiting episode of how life sucks.
Yesterday, me and Emma had a production meeting about the play. I can really say it went really well. We decided that the course we had taken was a good one and we should continue on it. Then as we walked home I suggested we'd go to huis de beurs to ask our final questions we needed to ask and so we did. As a result we now no longer can perform there since the room is not and she repeated not to be changed in any way. That means that either my beach house will feature a piano and a chandelier or we won't be performing there. So I guess it's the latter than. Crisis struck and so we decided we would go to the Grand theater to see if they had made up their minds yet. Well they were closed of course so no deal. Then we went to the kruithuis, which incidentally was closed as well but we did manage to get a phone number to call. Then as we walked back I asked Emma to close hear ears for a moment and I screamed as hard as I could (for those of you that don't know it yet but my hardest is quit hard). Then on our way to some food we walked past the music school. Emma suggested we'd look there, I was skeptic but after a short persuasion we went. And lo and behold the have a theater room which it turned out is just like the UT in setup only 100 times nicer. And they sounded like they were willing to put us up. With the only problem that 22th, 23th and 24th of February would not be possible so we looked into some other date and seeing as how the week after that is a holiday in which they are closed we ended up with 8, 9 and 10 march. Tomorrow we will hear the definite yes or no. As I came home I decided to check when david was leaving again in march, and sure enough he is leaving the 2th of march for switzerland and doesn't come back till the 12th only to be gone the 18th again to china. And I really cannot blame him. The thing he has in switzerland sounds really cool, and who wouldn't want to go on a world tour as he will in march. But that leaves me with either no place to perform, or a place to perform but not all of my actors. See this is what I mean when I say LIFE SUCKS

Does anyone know of an empty cave? I am thinking of becoming a hermit

Talking about your past, or better said the lack thereof can really make you feel strange afterwards. The search for the missing pieces can keep you occupied untill the very late (or early) in the morning I must say

The song brother form Racoon brings tears to my eyes everytime I listen to it, and just so you get the full picture it has been on repeat for the last 30 minutes or so

Remember my forlast entry? I which I was talking about being asked out? Yeah? Well, you can forget that post, he cancelled..... again..... I think I am just gona give up

Days long gone
Days long lost
I sit here alone
With you on my mind

Thinking of happier times
Thinking of happier days
But I will walk away
I will walk away

In my dreams I am happy
In my dreams I am sad
But when I am awake I feel nothing
When I am awake I am a statue

Thinking of happier times
Thinking of happier days
But I will walk away
I will walk away

No longer will I be me
No longer will I be free
But I will walk away
I will walk away

Life is a funny thing

Some time ago I met a guy, we talked over the internet for a few weeks and we decided we would go on a date. And so we did. It was great fun, it lasted longer than planned which I suppose usually is a good sign. So over the next few weeks we talked some more over the internet and we both wanted to go on a second date, and here is where the problems started. He kept postponing every date we set, he did 4 maybe 5 times, so I stopped asking him out, I can take a hint ( i maybe slow but still). Now I haven't been online for a few weeks and so I havent talked to him for a while. ANd today I was online. He started talking to me and surprise HE ASKED ME OUT...... I really don't know what to think right know. I just know I still like him....

Life can take strange turns, and I can't say I always hate the turns it takes

Debates about whether or not gay people should be able to donate blood are being held alot again. I can't help it but here is my view on the whole matter.

I totally disagree with todays policy of excluding all gay people from donating blood. SO what if statistically "we" have more risk of having hiv or that "we" statistically have more unprotected sex. That doesn't mean I do it. I have my self tested on a regular basis. I am completely clean. I can show them the evidence and still I am not allowed to donate blood. This my friends is called dircrimination and I don't like it one bit. I can understand why you don't want untested sexually active gay people to donate blood, but in this day and age do you really want untested sexually active straight people to donate blood? STD's and especially hiv aren't limited to the gay community. So to make the system fare, either allow gay people to donate blood, or change the rules and include that all donars should be tested 2 times for hiv prior to donating blood

Well this poem is not mine, but it is so damn good, I just had to share it

Op een dag zal je mij vragen,
Wat ik belangrijker vind..
Jou of mijn leven..
Ik antwoord.. Mijn leven..
Huilend loop je weg,
Zonder te weten dat jij...

Mijn leven bent...!

In the mood for some Irish music? But no Irish band in the neighbourhood? Try http://www.accuradio.com/radiocelt/index.aspx. It's radio

And then.... I sighed

Because Of You

A tingle deep inside
reminds me of you
Not being able to sleep at night
thinking of you

being happy and feeling sad
feeling strange inside my head
All because of you